What is gentle parenting?
Gentle parenting at its core is a parenting method that encourages mutual respect and understanding of your child as an individual. It adopts a positive reinforcement approach, rather than fear and punishment for misbehaviour through setting clear boundaries. In your baby’s first months, misbehaviour won’t be an issue, but they will be soaking up every single interaction they experience so it’s important to make sure it’s a positive one.
How can I gentle parent my newborn?
Avoid fatigue and give yourself a break
Because gentle parenting is mostly about empathy and understanding your child from their point of view, it can be especially difficult when you have a fussy baby who may be suffering from colic or silent reflux. Those early newborn days when you are sleep-deprived make things all the more challenging - trying to soothe your baby when you are exhausted yourself can lead to both mom and baby being frustrated and uncomfortable. To give yourself some respite, why not consider our Comfort Cushion ? With soothing vibrations and heart beat sounds, it provides your baby with consistent comfort and is like having an extra pair of hands, allowing you to have some relief too. Colic and silent reflux can leave you feeling like you can’t do anything to help your little one and what’s worse is your baby will sense when you are feeling upset and fatigued. The comfort cushion solution ensures that both of your needs are being met so you can be the best mama you can be.
Encourage independent moments
Whilst gentle parenting encourages bonding between parents and their children, it also aims to encourage independence. The newborn stage is so special and it can be easy to want your baby by your side at all times, but creating moments where they have solo supervised play or tummy time are important for your baby’s development. This also helps your baby get used to spending time not stuck to your side which can create separation anxiety. Allowing your baby to have some ‘alone time’ with you watching close by, assures them that you will return and that they are safe. Creating this secure environment for your baby from a young age also means that when other carers begin to come into their life, such as family members or friends - they won’t be so startled at a new face or new surroundings and can be content in their own company (with you watching the baby monitor, of course!).
Talk, talk and talk some more!
Although we may think our babies can’t understand us, they are consistently watching our facial expressions, body language and mouth moving and can interpret our tone. This is typically why we speak to babies in a higher pitched tone that they can associate with positive interactions such as being fed and cared for. While it is tempting to coo over your little one, studies show that speaking to your baby as if they are an adult in a consistently positive and gentle tone is excellent for developing their language. As you won’t be speaking to your child in a baby voice forever, talking to them like you will when they begin to grow will help them recognise words to be able to pick them up in their own language easier. Your calm tone will mean that when it comes to setting boundaries when they are older, they will view it as a positive interaction. So leave the goo-goo ga-gas behind, and try out some of your everyday vocab!
Regulating emotions
When your baby is consistently crying, there might not be much else going on inside your mind other than how to make it stop. It is easy and understandable to become fraught trying to resolve your little one’s cries, but it is important to remain calm. Although easier said than done, your baby is constantly feeding off of your emotions so remaining calm during your baby’s worst early moments will set the tone for how you continue to deal with their upsets going forward. Understanding why your baby might be crying - due to being hungry, needing changed or overtiredness can help you regulate your own emotions that your baby will recognise. When your baby becomes a toddler, you can seek to understand why they are upset whilst remaining calm rather than jumping to discipline as a means to make it stop. Coaching your little one and yourself through big emotions can result in a positive experience for you both and creates a safe environment in which your child feels they can express their emotions.
Co-sleeping
As gentle parenting focuses on bonding with your baby from early on, co-sleeping is an excellent way to introduce this method of parenting. Safe co-sleeping, in which your baby is in a co-sleeping cot, can create feelings of safety and security for your baby and improve your bond with them. This closeness may also benefit you as you know your baby is close and safe beside you until they are old enough to move into their own room. This is particularly useful if you are breastfeeding and can actually help aid it, as it involves less fussing to pick up your baby and get them settled. It is important however to ensure that you have a plan in mind for moving your baby into their own room, as this will help their independence and set clear boundaries in your parenting journey.
Gentle parenting is just one method of raising your child, and you may find that a hybrid approach of different parenting styles will work best for you. Ultimately, it’s whatever makes a happier baby, and a happier you!
For more advice on parenting styles, check out our blogs below;
